Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Unofficial Translation Of the iPhone Price Drop News

Here is the original article.

Here is the translation of the wall of text for those too lazy to read:

So you are not happy we dropped the price? News for you: We don't care what you think! Suck it up! Here at Apple we are always right!
You already paid for your overprice phone and we will not allow any refunds! Suckers!
In actual fact the production cost of our gadget is very very low. At this price we don't suffer any loss, just less profit, but we are confident the suckers for our device will make up the total numbers.
It runs on a freaking ARM Processor?! How much do you think an ARM embedded device would have cost? ARM Processors were never expensive to begin with. You didn't know? Pretend I never said that =P.
Now Android is out (Stupid Google, can't you just stay in your search engine business??), competition is in (We never considered Windoze based phones to be a threat at all).
It is opensource and might attract people away from our ecosphere of wall of restricted garden.
Not to mention the myriad of potential developers like on GNU\Linux.
As much as we would have liked to continue milking you suckers for our really cheap device (we hyped up the price thanks to our excellent marketing division =) ) we have to leverage on the "iphone hype" to dominate the market since we can't pwn the x86 computer market (D*mn you Microsoft and your OEM cronies).
My Steve Jobs reality distortion field is still in action. So don't worry as long as you own an Apple Device your membership to our cult is still valid (although you should upgrade so we can earn more, nobody hates sales right?)

In the end no one should be questioning me because I am always right! Case Closed.

Your Favourite Fruit Cult Leader
SJ

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